December - Sealed box of memories

Memories are like fragrance no matter how hard you try you cannot seal them in a box. They would find a way to come out and mess with your senses. With December the memories of year long come flooding back. Year would end but would these memories cease to exist as the year?


....
So you're getting married?

I wanted to call and tell you first, but you came to know before itself, maybe it's time you stop keeping tabs on my activities. 

Hahaha... Can't help it. But I knew you would call one last time.

I know, but I wanted to be the one to tell you this. How are you?

How could I be?

Stop using cheesy lines.

Hahaha... (Shallow laugh again). If you're happy, I'm happy.I owe you some money I want to give it back now, will give to your friend collect from him. You said to return it when I start earning.
Forget about it, I won't ask you for that money on Judgment day. *
I'm going to ask many questions to you on Judgment day...
*Silence*

I've discarded all your things.

How would you discard memories? 
*Silence*
Anyways, be happy, I pray for your wellness. 

I need your blessings, please keep praying for me... 

I always do

I pray for you all the time and I will continue to...

Because of your prayers only, I'm this successful now.
Bye.

---

For ladynimue's Months of the year challenge

January

Resolving not to resolve anymore

With new light, I shall start this year

No worries, no wishes, no more cares 

Dusting those cherished dreams

Long forgotten in life’s fast stream

I shall find hope in high gleam!

 ---

For ladynimue's Months of the year challenge

Prayers

If only my prayers had words
you could know how truly I loved 
Holding on to your images in my mind
every moment of life I survive
Let me shed a few tears on your shoulder
then I can relieve myself from world forever

Death?

How helpless we’re when it comes to death. Sure we could know all the details of beginning of life, how it all started. But how do you define death; Black? Void? Nothing?

We can discover only what had happened, never what will happen. So is the case, no one know what happens after one dies.

 

What it feels when you’re dying? Not dead not alive, somewhere in between your final destination. Is it like falling in bottomless pit? Flying in absolute blackness? Burning on sun? Freezing on ice? Or just lying still in somewhere of nowhere? Or you cease to feel any feelings?

 

How is the way to heaven/hell(if you believe)? Thru highways with country side view? Or thru void? What are you driven on? Or Teleported?

 

What to become of dead? Is it like fallen leaves, waiting for wind to blow? Or waiting to become part of some heap, then getting burnt to ashes? What after turning into ash? Become damp by dews? Or running in water currents of pouring water? Floating in dry air; Totally helpless.  

 

Can any metaphor would ever do justice to death?

How to…?

Back to office after a long vacation? Which is exactly like someone has burst the bubble of blissful dream. You’re already in bad mood, and difficult people make it more difficult. Just then a friend sends you this link to an article ‘How to handle difficult people’ (http://www.smartcompany.com.au/people-problems/new-eve-ash-26597.html)

The article covers managing difficult people at workplace. This subject can be applied to our day to day lives too. I think each one of us at some point of time in our life have faced one such person. If not, you’re an extremely good person. (The last sentence doesn’t make any sense. )

From what I’ve experienced, the worst kind of difficult persons is the one who is absurd. Or they pretend to be, and actually they are sly? They can irritate you till death. Lying is their superior weapon; blatant liars. They lie even though it is obvious, they are so confident and keep pushing you down. You are tired and would want to end the argument. What would you do? Either agree with them or ignore? In any case they win, cause that is all they wanted. You try all the polite things; speak to them in private, ask for clarification, request them not to bring up such things in future. There they agree with you, and you are relaxed now, but the next moment they are back to original state. And now you’re sad.

The easiest way is the aggressive response, but in reality it is the worst. Since they are master in this area, if you try to come a little harsh, then and there they win. In some cases, they accept their lies and go all puppy face. This is worst of the worst, they win and make you feel guilty of a crime you never committed.  Now you’re sad, plus have guilty feeling.

Since I could never come up with any good way out, I over use ignorance. In the end I’m sad for how I be so vulnerable. How do you deal with such people in real life,  given the fact that you can’t avoid daily encounter with them?

Analyze this

Normally when two people meet for the first time, they do not dislike each other, and most of them have positive feelings. When I meet someone new, I don’t like them. In few initial encounters I see thru them and all I see are their faults. I tend to avoid them/ speak without any interest (and make sure it is apparent)/ sulk / make faces whenever they aint looking… Sometimes I pass nasty smiles, but smiling should be avoided; nasty or heartily, it can back fire. Evidently, the result of such behavior will result in people running away. But then few people stay, and if for once they do, they will stay forever.  Hell of a screening process for such gems. No no it is not for mutual benefit at all, and we are not prudent here.  Also I’m not any hidden treasure that only a few special people have the power to discover. Let’s make it simple and  call it ‘we were destined to share something’. This is the selfless bond that creates itself, I name it friend-ship.

I’ve come up with graphical illustration of this theory of mine:- 

  

The red lines represent any new person’s behavior, and would be denoted by variable N
The green lines represent the my behavior, denoted by I
The horizontal axis represent the time (T)
The vertical axis represent the behavior (B)
B=0, represents the neutral behavior
Initially N will be B_max (Good), and I can have any value B_max/B_min/B₀

I
At T=0
N = B_max
I = {i|-b<i<+b}

II
At T=t
If N –>0 then I –>0
If N increases (in terms of b) then I–>-b or I –>0

III
At T=Θ
N–>+∞
I–>+∞

Little adventure

 **From my drafts

I’ve been looking forward for my Mum’s arrival to Pune, this is the first time she will be coming here. With all the enthusiasm I totally forgot that we have just enough mattresses for the current members only. My friend picked me up from office yesterday evening and we set out to buy a new mattress. One of the other flat mates of mine was on planned-sick leave yesterday, so we called her as well.

It was twilight and we were strolling thru various shops, arguing/bargaining. Finally we found a great one that other shops did not have and fixed the deal. (Usually all the shops have similar stuff you can pick from anyone, but girls you know ) Happily I paid the amount, gave him the address of my place. There emerges a typical Indian business man, 200 Rs for transport.
I: It’s so near hardly 5 Kms, 200 is too much.
Seller: Nothing less than 200.
I was like what no free shipping on orders above 500? 200 bucks only for transport is too much for a girl like me, who would happily spend 375 on Kajal-liner, wait this is not the costliest one in the market… oh forget about that now.

Here we came up with brilliant idea of money saving, set out to our little adventure. (I know I know Guys do it all the times, but for us it was first time). Now let me tell you the dimension of our mattress, 3’x3’x1’ (Originally 3’x6’, but mighty seller folded it half and set it on my lap), weight 15 Kgs of cotton.  Imagine my hands stretched in Titanic pose, fill in with mattress. God, was it heavy. Bike starts *zeenhehe* and we are good to go.

It was almost dark when headed to our home. Everything was fine till we had to take a U turn; the rider could not see anything in her rear view mirrors but the mattress. Later she told me that she was shouting to check for vehicle while taking that daring turn. But at that moment all I could hear was that she is speaking something, I shouted back “I can’t hear anything”. So far so good, the rider’s worries were over, and then onwards we had a plain straight road.

I on the back side I was holding it with all the strength I had. The wind was pushing our mattress back along with me; literally I was on the edge. It’s not all, everyone else on the road was watching us with… let’s call it admiration; see those brave girls  As soon as we made home, and dropped the consignment, we burst out laughing on our little adventure.  Yes, we made home safe.

PS: Mum postponed her trip for she would go to visit Nani (GrandMum)

White owl and rains

White Owl… blood… Owl’s neck was wrecked, then how it is still smiling? Why it is dark in the morning, or am I going to office in midnight? How Moon is shining like sun? Bus stop is on my terrace?

“What the hell??!!?!?”

“Thank God! It was a nightmare” I sighed

Yes yes, I know my dreams are crazy, but do nightmares have to be sane? Never mind, this day is going to be best. I look out of window, the morning is amazingly beautiful. It must have been drizzling all night. Tiny water drops floating in the air, caressing the damp road. Droplets reach my heart and drench its land, the seeds of happiness sprouts and a fruity smile spreads on my face.

Everything about rain is so easy to love. Green trees making crown for roads, ready to welcome. The whispers of cold wind, trying to tell secrets.  Gulmohar (Flame tree) blossoming in full bloom. The aroma of earth... Rain makes earth my Eden garden.

If anyone of you is thinking of cribbing about rains, my rally of cry would be “So what?” (From CnH). Rain makes roads muddy, slippery; so what? My clothes don’t get dried, and stinks; so what? Blah blah…; so what? The water becomes too cold to bathe; so what? All you guys who don’t like rain, I’ve this travel machine and I would be happy to ship you to Sahara. But if you’re going to stay here, don’t you say anything about rains.

PS: I’ve been very emotional since morning, so pliss to ignore any mistakes.

Indian Wedding

Recently I’d been to my cousin’s wedding. Here I’m trying to paint a picture of typical Indian wedding, though one can find it more relevant to a specific class (amongst too many in India), but I bet there would be  many generic things.

Don’t be afraid, I’m not trying to tell how the aunties’ prick you with words as if being single is a crime, and the reasons they throw for not being married already.

In old days (my childhood days) weddings were a series of rituals that would last atleast a week, nowadays some of the ceremonies are totally cutoff or merged with a few to get over in one day. Present days wedding schedule Haldi->Mehndi+Sangeet->Wedding->Wedding Reception, max 3-4 days. The reasons can be; people getting so self-obsessed, lack of time, increasing cost of everything…

Anyways let’s enter into the house:-

Ah as soon as you enter the wedding-house the exotic aroma will bind your senses, mix of marigold scent with the turmeric scent and all the oils they add to turmeric. Add to it the scent of Mehndi. But these all scents will make it almost difficult to guess what’s on the menu. 

Secondly you’ll notice that whole of the house is already covered with genda phool (Marigold flower), and then we have this ritual of presenting a garland and a box of sweets to bride/groom on our first visit. All those garlands will hang themselves on every visible nail they can find on walls, and then on doors, or wherever they please. Sometimes they even make it to toilet flush too. Also no matter how many sweet teeth bride/groom had before, they would only be able swallow a pinch out of the 1 kg box of sweets you’ve got; some even makes the face like we are presenting the poison to them. Too much show-off by bride/groom I say; anyways every dog has its day

Day one of Haldi function – Every aunty will apply hand full of turmeric to bride/groom; they would not care if it goes in eyes or nose; just like the way your friends throw the cake on your face on birthdays. ‘For God’s sake leave my eyes atleast, how I’m gonna see my bride or the worst would girl still wants to be the bride when she discovers I’ve gone blind’. Thinks poor groom. Brides’ on the other hand manage to play safe, they always have their beautician on their side; ‘Oh no, don’t apply turmeric on nose/cheek/ear/eye-lid her makeup will get spoiled’ says pretty lady and saves the bride from torture. God can only save poor grooms from aunties!

Mehndi and Sangeet – I know I know, grooms side can totally miss this Mehndi mess, but noh wait, I’ve seen a few grooms smeared their hand with Mehndi, I say why not wear a lehnga as well?

One warning to all attending this function, watch it before you park yourself anywhere, you never know there may be a tube of mehndi lying under the covers ready to stain the wrong surface.

And guys it takes a lot of courage and patience to have hands and feet stained with mehndi, and sit at one place for too long time. I always wonder how the brides manage the nature’s calls during this day. You must appreciate the effort and must not show any irritation when she asks to find your names on her hand.

When girls are done with smearing their hands then the best thing comes, dhol (Drum). Yes, we still call the drummer who beats the beat outta drum . Everyone wants to try their legs at dance but no one would stand first (too much attitude show off), we need to go and request please come and dance. Every sangeet I attend I request the drummer to play ‘Pallo latke re mahro pallo latke…’ they are my favorite beats. Don’t think the sangeet is going to be something like they show in movies where everyone is so perfect in their dance like they’ve just come out of Dance India Dance, we are simple people and we dance like… well err… leave it. For dear aunties, for them it is the golden chance to show their talent, you must see how elegantly they shake their bellies. Once started no one would stop till the elders’ in house start complaining that they are not able to sleep.

What are your experiences and observation, please feel free to share in comments.

Extra Notes-

Haldi ceremony – The official start of wedding ceremonies, Haldi (Turmeric) is known as the natural source of beauty, the haldi is applied to bride/groom, preparing them for the D-day to look more beautiful and shiny on their wedding

Mehndi – The ceremony of applying Mehndi to bride

Sangeet – The most loved of all the rituals, dance function

Some stories

There is this great blog by blog by Vivek where you can write 55wordstory on the theme of the day. The themes are declared on twitter, you can follow @vivekisms

A few times I managed write on some themes that I'm posting below.

Obsession
The way it feels here is total irony. The madness of vehicles tearing their way off road, their headlights racing like comets. I never believed that the air on hillock above the express-way could be so peaceful.  My restless mind obsessed with thoughts of loneliness, finds peace here; on the craziest place in the city.


Suitcase
She was going home after 6 months, to her Mum Dad and little big-brother. Gifts for everyone were picked and packed nicely. The Bloody Boss had held her in office too late. Standing amidst scattered surprise-gifts on floor, she hears the announcement of train departing the platform with open suitcase in hand.


Space
She: So, where do we go after we die? He: Don’t give me that again. She: Hmm… I just hope you must not exist there. He walked out, this time she didn't stop him. With spontaneous clam on her face she stood on the edge.

She is falling thru infinite pit, into the blissed space. 


Relationship
She reached for ipod, untangled earphones and plugged in music. She wondered, no one touches earphones still they get tangled on their own, yet every-time she fixes them. If only she had patiently tried to detangle the relation with him, life would have been easier. With a smile on face she determined, it’s never too late.

The Beautiful mistake

Little girl was standing behind the iron gates, watching kids play on the streets. Sun-rays made her hair shine like spun gold, honey-brown eyes complementing her pale skin. All this beauty dripping from her mocked the fate. If only she had aged normally she would have been a teenage-queen now. How could God make such a beautiful mistake? 

Dedicated to my neighbor’s daughter who is frozen in time.

Devil's romance

I was sure in hell, running hysterically trying to find an exit that did not exist. Gradually things started to slow down like they show in movies as in slow-motions. And there were you, of-course. Moving towards me with a wicked smile, making my heart beat rapidly. I hid myself to the place where I knew you would find me, just to reason away later that I tried all possible ways to escape. With such a ease I let you find me, and one look was all it took to erode my rationality. Eyes lurking sparks, you're a Devil from the hell, bewitched me with love spell.

PS Weird dream eh? 

Fireflies

Image source: http://demosthenesvoice.deviantart.com

I hope you wouldn’t mind

If I steal images of you

Put them to illume a place

And call it my shrine

Like those fireflies

In dead and dreary night who shine

I know you’re not mine

And would never be in physical world

But, dreams cannot be confined

Vegetable

Image source: http://m0ksha.deviantart.com

Our evening bus was rolling with insect speed as usual. With all that dust and smoke the air became so thick it was difficult to even breathe forget about my bus nap. Amidst all this something shiny caught my eyes; on the footpath fresh green vegetables they were so fresh and green I considered requesting the bus driver to hold on while I grab some of them. Silly me drooling over red juicy tomatoes rather than a cute boy walking down same footpath. I’d already started imagining how deliciously delicious my curry would turn out if I use these than those so unfresh things from Reliance fresh. 

What has happened to me? Few years back when I was at home, vegetables always came from the vegetable-box of fridge, and the only job I had to do was to ship them to Mum from our warehouse, that too rarely. The salary was paid in form of Mum made awesome meals. Then one not so fine day I left that job for a job that pays me money. This taught me the complete life cycle of how to convert the money into a delicious food.

1.       Buy vegs
2.       Store extra in fridge
3.       Wash them to cook
4.       Cut
5.       Cook
6.       Eat
7.       Sleep

And now I enjoy shopping vegs as much as I enjoy shopping shoes/clothes/makeup….  On one such weekend trip to Reliance fresh (They stock fresh vegs on weekends only, the golden chance for people like me to stuff our fridge for the whole week!) I was instructing my friend to pick old potatoes (those which come from cold storage) instead of the new ones (comes fresh out of field), the aunty nearby me heard this and asked, ‘Are they better?’  I explained her what my Mum taught me, ‘yes, old potatoes cook quickly’. I recall one such incidence in Hyderabad as well where I was sorting Ridged Gourd so interestingly, that another aunty near me asked how you know which one is good and I repeated my Mum’s words. This is what I’ve become now, nothing gives me more pleasure than the sight of fresh green vegs and how easily Reliance fresh can flatter me with buy one get one on all leafy vegs :D

Unlove

Image source - http://shadowsfairy.deviantart.com

A heart that loves, eyes that care

A tongue that lies, for good or bad thee only knows

For hundred wrongs, one right is enough

For thousand tears, one smile weights more

Nothing could be more perfect, none was loved more

These sorrows of love never end

Not the lost love, the given-up love

This memory of love haunts always

Forbidden love seems truest…

Dream or nightmare

I really hate dreams, why do I dream when the reality would be as cruel as ever? Why that perfect paradise exists in dream when it’s going to be hell indeed?  That virtual happiness I feel while dream seems most real, what happens when reality takes its turn? Don’t you feel like, damn!  It was only a dream. This reality is real nightmare. Pleasant dreams are to be blamed for making life so unfair.

On the contrary, nightmares I like. They make me realise how worst things can go. When my sleep is broken out of nightmare, how thankful I feel. Sigh! It was just a dream, and wow it’s not going to be real. Thanks heaven, reality is so beautiful. Suddenly a bad dream changes the whole perception of my world. 

But, hey can’t I be left with just what is real? Do I really need a reminder of how awfully worst and how beautifully best life can be? While the reality is going to play safe forever.  Always threatening for worst and always giving false hopes for best. Couldn’t life be as humble?