Dry well

Image source: http://www.texasescapes.com

I’m a well. I’ve a tree growing from my core. It’s green and tall. It reaches the height more than I ever could, even more than what I was when full till mouth. Oh, those were the days! I was accompanied with people. They gave me their full love, installed machines to help me push water to them. More than I ever asked for; cleaned me, guarded me, beautified me.

Then the time came for retirement. I’d completed my service. Now I’m dry.  And deserted, it’s like I never existed, like I’m invisible to those who loved me. I don’t complain for that, maybe I’ve had all the love that I could have.  Does that mean hate quota has started? Those who throw garbage in me, how can they forget the clean water they withdrew? Those who spit in me, forgot the pure and cold water they drank off me? No, they cannot; these people are different. They never loved me, the one who did, must have departed. God, I don’t want to die suffocating from plastic and garbage. Could I at least ask for a peace in death? Please, spare a few stones and mud for my grave. Let me die with pride.

Music

As the year ends I try to save the beautiful memories. Here I go with ‘Top 25 most played’ playlist from my ipod.

1.       Undisclosed Desires – The Resistance by Muse

All against my will I had to work in night hours for quite a long time in 2011. That time made me close to music much more than before. Like a perfect companion, when whole world is asleep and I would work with my music on. One of such nights I heard Muse for the first time, this was the song. I fell in love with it badly.

   2.       Sunburn – Showbiz by Muse

Food for thought song, with haunting music.  The magic of piano, once I heard this one there is no stopping. I don’t know how it is not on the first, but it’s my most favorite of Muse.

   3.       Muscle Museum – Showbiz by Muse

For weeks I listened this only, on repeat mode. Lyrics are so realistic.

4.       Hysteria – Absolution by Muse

Muse again? Yes, there will be plenty.  It’s so like me; impatient.

5.       When I Look At You – The Last Song by Miley Cyrus

This is indeed the beautiful melody in nights alone. Beautiful lyrics make me think; where are you? Give me look…

6.       Supermassive Black Hole – Black Holes and Revelations by Muse

Bang! What great starting, music can also captivate.

7.       Time is running out – Absolution by Muse

Let go of past, all bad memories, is that all so easy? This is what I feel when I listen this one.

8.       Bliss – Origin of Symmetry by Muse

It’s bliss to me, and puts peace and joy in my mind.

9.       Bin Tere (Reprise) – I Hate Luv Storys by Shekhar Ravijiani

So sad dull song, how can this make to my playlist even? That’s what I thought when I heard this one for first few times. Infact this moved to top 25 in time when I visited home and my bother had played it on repeat. But slowly I've started liking this slow and soft version, with soothing music.

10.   Belly Dancer – by Akon

How desperately I try to shake my belly like a belly dancer. :D

11.   What I've Done – by Linkin Park

I wanted to tweak the playlist and move this to top most on number one. It was my ringtone for almost 6 months.

12.   Starlight – Black Holes And Revelations by Muse

This could be skipped from Top 25, but as I mostly play list sorted by artist, this had advantage.

13.   Map of the Problematique – Black Holes and Revelations by Muse

Whattay music man!

14.   Preminche Premava – Telugu movie Nuvvu nenu Prema by A.R.Rahman, Shreya Ghoshal, Naresh Iyer

I do not understand a word of this; this is soul song, so soothing.

15.   Ring My Bells – Insomniac by Enrique Iglesias

My lullaby; helps keep away insomnia.

16.   She Will Be Loved  – by Maroon 5

No beauty queen, she had some troubles with herself. No one was there to help her, she never belonged to anyone. When she will be loved?

17.   Unintended – Showbiz by Muse

You would be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions; you would be the one I’ll always love…

18.   Plug in baby – Origin Of Symmetry by Muse

To forget the dishonest love.

19.   Knights of Cydonia – Black Holes and Revelations by Muse

Wait for no Knight to come and save you, be a saviour to yourself.

20.   Desert rose – Brand New Day by Sting

I dream a lot and mostly nice dreams. Pleasant dream or nightmare? It’s a lot easier to have a nightmare and wakeup to believe it’s not real, than shattering of dream and facing the cruel reality.

21.   Naughty-naughty – Cash movie by various artist

Stupid I, once upon a time I wanted to be transformed like Diya. ;)

22.   Blackbirds – by Linkin Park

Inspiration for my writing, started blogging while listing this song.

23.   Uprising – The Resistance by Muse

Rise and revolt.

24.   Sajni – Boondh a drop of Jal by Jal

Thanks to brother again for this beautiful gift.

25.   Hotel California

Simply Epic!

*Image source internet

Fear

It was a dark and stormy night, and the weather forecasts for next two days did not look any better.  Damn, the precious weekend would be spoiled in vain. Yes, dear God what do you want me to do now, sit at home and crib about bad weather on FB/twitter?
The bus jerked and stopped, giving a halt to my thoughts. As soon as I got down from bus, the immediate challenge for me was to reach just few meters away home. How can that familiar terrain look like a graveyard? The side walk trees that used to provide shadow, appeared moving ghosts, waiting for me to stumble and they would swallow me. The eyes of neighbor’s dog that used to sparkle with joy seemed emitting fatal laser beams, which would cut thru human flesh.  As I reached home the always welcoming metal gate, made creepy sound. I unlocked the door, and sighed with relief. The only sound inside home (the safe heaven) was the wind creeping from slits of windows and doors. Exhausted, I curled up on sofa. But, suddenly there was bright light coming from distant, and I heard a faint voice; the voice grew louder aggressively and someone was shaking me vigorously. I tried to absorb the spoken word; it’s almost 11 in the noon… Saturday doesn’t mean you would sleep whole day… My eyes opened at once, and there was Mum, the anger on her face sent chills down to my spine.  I argued: Let me sleep Mum, I couldn’t sleep properly, I’d frightening dreams. Mum: Don’t you dare watch horror movies again; they put fear in your mind.
I couldn’t agree more; yes, fear is only in our minds.

PS: Something I wrote for a contest that I did not win ;) 

Expectations

What are friends for? They are the family you have when you don’t have any. When you’re off, they would know, without you telling them, when you are happy they know and take you out to celebrate.  You choose them and let themselves into your lives. Not only sometimes, most of the times they know you better than what you know of yourself.  In friends it’s never my problem/ your problem it’s always our problem. One day without them would not be imaginable, it’s not the physical presence that is necessary, just the assurance that they will be there whenever you need them. Would come to help from the other side of world in your trouble, again not the presence is necessary, just few kind words would do.  And one day if they forget the most important day of the year for you, you become sad and feel lonely just because one of them has forgotten, while others are still there, but every single friend is important to you. Then don’t you have a right to be angry/sad? Are you then expecting too much? Where did all our thing go, then their problems become their problems and you become someone? Wouldn’t hell break over your head and the earth burn under your feet? And what was your fault, just the thing that you are expecting too much. Should you stop expecting from your friends too? Go become cynical and become walking dead? No expectations no disappointments; is life that simple?  

Image source internet

Winter

Give me back my winter!

Winter has always been the best time of year for me. I’ve never liked summer, and if I could skip anytime in the year it would be summer. Though in school days summer holidays were awaited eagerly, but the enjoyment would last for first week only, then it would start to bore me. Long days with no playing in sunlight policy and hot nights without any power.

With winter comes lots of eating; Mum’s winter snacks, Dry fruits ladoos, gajar ka halwa, mutter pulaoo are to name few. Sitting in sunlight, sleeping with blankets, thinking ten times before touching water, breathing out from mouth to see the vapor, the wish of never coming out of bed, and lots of holidays! Yes, my skin would crack, but it is better than sunburns. No noise pollution of fans/ACs. Hot-water showers. Foggy mornings, peaceful afternoons, cool evenings and chilled nights. But all this was only till I was home, when I relocated to Hyderabad winter was taken from me; all those beautiful sweaters could never come out of closet. And in blessed IT industry I won’t get a day off in December let alone winter holidays. Obviously our US/UK clients have their festivals so we need to cover up the double tasks. I hope Pune will show some winter-mercy on me.

Image source internet.

Balloons

The last weekend in Hyderabad couldn’t be any better!

Saturday: Was like a normal Saturday, woke up early in the noon. The girls stuff was on, and one of us wanted to go to movie. Unluckily there were none good movies that weekend, but for crying out loud Mausam. I strongly refused to go to Mausam and we ended up with Force (Cry louder). After looking in two theaters for tickets, we could get in in cinemax. (Yes, want to inform me about online bookings, kill BookMyshow Hyderabad, it’s been down for months). So we lunched at KFC and started with Force. Every single stupid conversation (call it dialogue and you insult the term dialogue) in the movie was fired with my stupider comments and we three were only laughing in there. So, that was a refreshing comedy movie. After that we did some shopping. Of-course if girls go out and don’t shop it doesn’t count. So, a special Saturday went all normal.

Image source: http://chamosanzo.deviantart.com

Sunday: It was planned with one of my other best friends, and I’d to shop some luggage as well. We completed all my work by 7.00 pm, and it was too early. Then he told he want me to buy a gift for myself, whatsoever was the reason I was not in a mood to shop, by the though in my mind that this will be my last time to be go around like this. And I couldn’t get myself any gift. Like all other times when we would fight forcing each other to buy gifts. Whenever we go out for dinner, it’s a ritual to go to cream stone. After dining in Chutny’s (yes, the one which has something to do with star Chiranjivi) for the first time, we reached our cream stone. The ice cream parlor I would miss most of Hyderabad, after chick biriyani. That has got so many memories attached to it that I can make a blog post on it too. We did not have any appetite left, but ice-cream can never be denied. We took our standard for him death by chocolate and mine mango with jelly toppings, damn they replaced mango with seasonal custard apple flavor. That is the last fruit on earth I would eat. So, anyways I took magic-pop. Sitting on the stairs outside the cream stone there was the balloon guy, holding four five dozens of red-white heart shaped balloons. My friend was blabbering and I was looking on those balloons all the time, now and then he would pluck the strings in a manner making balloons wave in beautiful patterns. No one bought a single balloon for half-an-hr. I told my friend, he told couples will buy them, I asked what do they do after buying them. He laughed out loud and told me they write their name on it and let it fly. Then I laughed out loud, for no knowing this stupid thing. All the while we chit-chat, my eyes were on balloons only, and I was thinking how hard his work is, standing so long and still there is no guarantee that he would be able to sell all of them. Some more time passed and few kids bought couple of balloons, that was a relief to me atlast. Whenever I go out and see people working so hard to make few bucks, I feel grateful to Allah that I’ve a decent job. Wooho… I drifted from the topic of post. So as my last Sunday was ending, while staring at balloons I was sure, I would miss a few good friends that I made here and the places I visited with them.

If I were a tag

Some of the things I like I don’t know why, I just like them. So upon request of my dear friend, here I got with ‘If I were…’

If I were a color, I'd choose to be BLACK (concealing, mysterious )

If I were a liquid, I'd choose to be WATER (the necessity of life)

If I were a time, I'd choose to be MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS (No-reason)

If I were a cellphone, I'd choose to be VIBRATOR (Silently doing its job )

If I were a voice, I'd choose to be THE PIANO COVER OF SUNBURN (Performed by Matt – Muse)

If I were a bird, I'd choose to be PENGUIN

If I were an emotion, I'd choose to be LOVE (no-reason: P)

If I were music, I'd choose to be CHIPPERING OF MORNING BIRDS

If I were a smile, I'd choose be SMILE OF KID

If I were water, I'd choose to be WATERFALL (I just love them, without any reasons :P)

If I were an investor, I'd choose to be investing in OIL

If I were a stock, I'd choose to be OIL

If I were a flower, I'd choose to be ROSE

If I were a time of day, i'd choose to be NIGHT (The time when moon comes out)

If I were an artist, I'd choose to be HACKER (Hacking is an art)

If I were a subject, I'd choose to be HISTORY (Always curious )

If I were life, I'd choose to be ONLY CHILDHOOD

If I were to go missing from this world, i'd choose to be GREED

If I were luck, I'd choose to be KNOCKING THE DOOR MORE THAN ONCE (Got it?)

If I were a memory, i'd choose to be TIME SPEND WITH FAMILY

Moon

Everything is still, as I stand in my balcony. Staring at the lake water, and the reflection of moon in it. It’s a full moon night; yes the silver moon with its shadow in dark water.
For a moment I considered, how lonely moon is in the universe, I could share my loneliness with it. But moon is not alone; it has its companion, imprisoned in dark deep waters. Silently they converse, with silver rays only; could I have someone to talk with eyes only? Moon raises the tide, to untie the water bonds off its love; their endeavor to be together goes on, forever. And I walk back in, and leave them to their solitude.

God

As a curious kid, I always asked Mom, who is God? How does he look? What does he eat? And what not. I don’t remember the answers she would have given to my endless queries about God, but my brain is still inked with my self-reasoning and explanations.

While I eat, I thought God would eat ten times bigger meal than mine in one bite, but does he eats? When I run , I wonder God will overrun me in just split of second, or fly, or just by thinking he would reach the place he wanted to go *poof*. When children born, I asked Mom who is the parents of God, she would say, God is alone. But I always reasoned someone might have created God, and God of God might have been created by someone, it was like never ending.

With age I started pushing my queries back and back in my mind. I stopped stressing my brain to imagine the figure of God. Being a Muslim, I believe that God is alone and no one created him, and there is no one like him. He is the creator of everything. And he is above all human needs.

Time by time those suppressed thoughts will jump to front and I will push them back again; *don’t think about it, don’t think about it…* It was all until the day, when I was having discussion on the same topic on our company’s forum, where I expressed my view as “God has not given our minds the capability to think about him”. Many folks argued as human mind is great, it can achieve anything by expanding its limits etc. One of my friends solved all my queries by quoting a simple example; “If you try to explain the mechanism of a machine to cockroach, its brain would never understand it”

Like I said, it's beyond our minds to argue the God!

Five

We all know the basic five elements of life; Water, Air, Fire, Sky and Earth.


How do I define love?
It’s the water that is sweet and pure
It’s the wind that doesn’t mess with you hair
It’s the light that is divine
It’s the cloud with silver line
It’s the land where we sow
How do I define love?
How do I define love…

Stench And Scent

Typical work day ended with the usual workout at aerobics. In hurry of reaching home, I did not notice the dude sitting in the auto (Share auto, where we pay per head). Only when he turned his face other side, I remembered about the workout(Sometimes ignorance makes better impression than attention). I was sweating like pig, and could have been smelling like dead fish. So hot dude was trying to ignore the stench or whatever, who cares. Then a blow of wind filled my side of auto with his scent, it was so awesome that made me look at his face, but darkness won :(. Now and then his pleasant smell was filling my side of auto, and you can guess for the his side. I don’t remember his face but that scent is still in my head, and with all my luck he might remember mine :(.

Lesson learned: After workout, never delay the shower till home!

SuperMom

Incident 1:

Like every other normal day, I called mom in the evening after coming back from office to tell her I reached home safe.
My roommate had gone to her aunt’s house and she had planned to stay there overnight. I was scared to death to be alone in the night, cause of some stupid horror movie watched day before. Then around 11.00 pm Mom called, she never calls me at that time, what she said stunned me.
Mom: I can’t sleep, are you ok? Is X (my flat mate/friend) there?
I lied: Yes
Mom: I want to talk to her; I don’t feel good and want to make sure you are ok
I lied: She has fallen asleep and everything is fine, I will call you in the morning.

Incident 2:

After almost six months I was going home for Eid, the journey was too tiring, but I made home safely. Same night I got bad fever, and was too tired even to move, mom came to my room around 3 in the morning, and checked me. She said I had a feeling, that you are not well.

I think it is the love for her children that turns out to be sixth sense in mothers.