Where is the 'Good' in Goodbye?

I've never been good at Goodbyes, I always run out of words while parting away. How pleasantly people say ‘It was nice meeting you’, I can’t even remember to say this simple sentence.  Goodbyes make me sad, and leave me without words. No matter how carefully I choose the words I can never make any Goodbye sweet. There are times when I know that I will never meet the person again in my lifetime. Suddenly the world becomes an enormous pit, where people get lost. Things never come around and world is not small. Sure one can connect through internet and several other ways, but it never happens.  I want a few more talks to be exchanged before finally parting away. Or there are more than few talks, and more things to sort out and know and God only knows what. But I cannot hold the time, it moves on...

Infinite loop

I've been acting in every wrong way and I starve for pity/love from others for my bad condition. I've become of the lot who think if they will present themselves as lonely/sad/love-deprived they will receive consolation in return. This seems easiest way, to cry and beg for comfort. I do not want to earn the love, I just want it to be given as alms. When I do not receive a single glance of sympathy even when I've cried loudest, made myself feel miserable is every possible way, I feel I should go back to being normal, and expect nothing. But doesn't last long, I hold on for few hours, go on making happiness within, and then when I see things aren't going as I expected, again I fall back to the same pit of loneliness. 

The worst part is that I know my actions are wrong and I must at once amend them, create happiness around, still do not find courage to crawl out of the darkness. I find myself stuck in this infinite loop, like sinning and repenting and sinning again... someone insert a break condition, please!

The worst than worst part is I do not see any reason why I should feel/behave in a way I am. I've husband who is most loving and caring and better job from last year and a nice house to take care of, see lots of reasons to be happy, so why?

December - Sealed box of memories

Memories are like fragrance no matter how hard you try you cannot seal them in a box. They would find a way to come out and mess with your senses. With December the memories of year long come flooding back. Year would end but would these memories cease to exist as the year?


....
So you're getting married?

I wanted to call and tell you first, but you came to know before itself, maybe it's time you stop keeping tabs on my activities. 

Hahaha... Can't help it. But I knew you would call one last time.

I know, but I wanted to be the one to tell you this. How are you?

How could I be?

Stop using cheesy lines.

Hahaha... (Shallow laugh again). If you're happy, I'm happy.I owe you some money I want to give it back now, will give to your friend collect from him. You said to return it when I start earning.
Forget about it, I won't ask you for that money on Judgment day. *
I'm going to ask many questions to you on Judgment day...
*Silence*

I've discarded all your things.

How would you discard memories? 
*Silence*
Anyways, be happy, I pray for your wellness. 

I need your blessings, please keep praying for me... 

I always do

I pray for you all the time and I will continue to...

Because of your prayers only, I'm this successful now.
Bye.

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For ladynimue's Months of the year challenge